The very first thing my fiancé and I did when we started wedding planning was ask ourselves, “What is the perfect wedding venue for us and where do we find it?”
With a little introspection and inspiration from the internet, the two of us were able to come up with a handful of options, limit them down to three, and then land on a very confident decision. Here’s our process and how we easily narrowed it down!
Choose your Distance
The first thing we took into account was how far we were willing to travel and have the majority of our guests travel. Obviously, if you know you want a destination wedding, and you are expecting everyone to pay their own way to it, it might be a good idea to consider how much is a reasonable ask. For instance, a flight to an island down in the Bahamas could be a lot less pricey than a ticket to New Zealand. For us, we knew we were going to stay within the state and no more than 2 hours away from our home. Many of our relatives live within the same region as us, so we felt this was reasonable.
Of course, you may have people coming from out of state or farther away, but I feel it’s a good idea to take into consideration where most of the guests will be coming from. If you already have your eye on a place that’s very far away, maybe 3-4+ hours away, consider being willing to add other options in case you find a place closer that is absolutely great too. That way it’s an amazing venue and it’s closer to home.
Ultimately, it is your day, and you get to make the call, but you also want to be realistic about who is coming and if they will be able to make the drive comfortably. If you have many older folks coming like grandparents or great aunts, you might want to take their comfort into consideration so that it won’t literally pain them to come!
Choose your Size
Next, think about roughly how many people you would like to attend your wedding. Do you plan on having a small intimate wedding? A grand mass of people? Somewhere in between?
Whatever the situation might be, I’ve learned that having a general idea of wedding size is important because some venues may not fit the capacity you need. Or, on the flip side, they might not book any weddings that don’t meet a minimum amount of guests. Before you decide to choose which venues to physically visit and check out, make sure you find out on their website or through directly speaking to them to see if there are any minimums or maximums when it comes to wedding size.
When we were creating our list of potential options, more than one of them had some capacity restrictions. One of the places we looked at was this unique and cute tree house place where the ceremony and reception would be tucked away in the woods and you and your guests could stay in tree houses for the night. The place only held 30 or so people though. So our rough estimate of 100 guests for our own wedding far exceeded that. On the bright side, it forced us to cross these out on our list and focus on the right options for us. If you can find the rules out sooner, however, the easier it will be to focus on the viable options.
Choose your Vibe (Aesthetic)
The vibe of the place is probably the first thing you’ve been thinking about since starting to picture your wedding. That’s because it’s how you imagine your venue looking, how you want to feel while you are there at the altar and the pictures are being taken of you and your love. You picture the magic of the moment and you zoom out and what do you see? If it’s a forest with twinkly lights, that’s the vibe. If it’s an ornate fountain with water streaming out from all sides while you kiss, that’s your vibe. If it’s a medieval-style castle with dragon statues, a beach, a church, a winery with a rolling hills view, or willow trees by a lake…that’s your vibe. It’s up to your imagination and heart!
This is what will help make your wedding yours. Let your desires speak from the heart. When you think of a beautiful place, what is it like, what is the temperature, what are the sounds, what are the smells, use your senses to help you decide where you want this happy place to be.
Once you’ve done that visualization practice, head to Pinterest. That is my recommendation. Start looking up that vibe and see what you get. If you start to go “Oh wow! That’s gorgeous!” and you feel a spike of excitement, then you are probably on the right track!
How does the Business behind the Wedding Venue make you feel?
Once you have looked up wedding venues around you that fit the aesthetic you are looking for and you’ve figured out if it fits the number of guests you aim to have, it is time to schedule a visit. I feel like no more than 5 and no less than 3 venues is a good list to start off with. This way, you don’t overwhelm yourself and your schedule. You also don’t want to see only one venue. You want to see what different venues offer so that you have something to compare even if you really liked the first one you went to.
Feeling out the business of the venue is another really important point to bring up because it played a big role in Brooke’s and my decision in choosing our place. Looking up to make sure the venue is LGBTQ-friendly is obvious, but being there at the place and talking to the individuals who would be working with us on your wedding is another story. You want to make sure you get comforting, professional, and attentive vibes from them.
If you walk away from the visit feeling as though they restrained information from you or didn’t seem interested in you, or seemed highly disorganized, or what have you, then it’s a good idea to make a note about that particular venue.
If you felt like you were in good hands and that they had a good and organized head on their shoulders, then that is good. Make a note about that as well.
This is one of the big things you’ll be paying attention to while visiting. Yes, the actual place is important, but the staff that will be your supporting cast throughout the day of your wedding and leading up to it is just as important. You want a team that will minimize the amount of stress and anxiety that could come up. You want people who are ideally very experienced and who know the wedding game like the back of their hands. Even more ideally, hosts that feel like family or a friend to you are a bonus. Remember, this day is meant to be a truly happy one, not a stress-inducing one!
Look at the Fine Print Before you Commit
This includes, but is not limited to costs, payment plan requirements, and things you can and can’t do/bring to the wedding grounds.
Never ignore the contracts. Always read them and ask questions afterward for clarification. You want to be crystal clear about understanding the costs and any fee-related things including payment plans. A down payment is standard and you want to make sure you know exactly what you are expected to hand over in cash in order to reserve your day.
You also want to check to make sure that if your reception is taking place at the same place as your ceremony, then you want the rules for what you are allowed to bring into a venue. This can be anything from alcohol-related things (some venues don’t allow outside bartenders or shots.) Some venues also don’t permit certain party accessories like confetti or things that would get lost on their property or be annoying on multiple levels.
If you are choosing to cater with this company or have no other choice but to use this venue’s caterer, then look at the packages and decide if it fits in your budget and how the food situation works in general. Will they make things you like? Keep a list of questions like this on you when you go to visit. This way, if they don’t come out and explain all of this while on the tour, you can reference your list and get the last bits of important info before you leave.
By the way, if you are wondering about how to find a wedding photographer or a wedding DJ (MC), you can click to check out our experience and process with those.
Go with Your Heart
Yes, a cliché, yet solid piece of advice here is to GO WITH YOUR HEART. If it fits within your budget, and you keep imagining yourself getting married at a particular place, even after seeing 3 or more other venues. Well, I have good news for you…YOU FOUND YOUR VENUE! Congrats!
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